First off, I'd like to thank you if this is your first time reading this blog or if you used to read it and are now following it again. Life gets in the way sometimes, but I'm going to keep on using this blog as a means to a cathartic end.
Most times, I lay my thoughts out on a computer screen with an air of levity using either over-the-top or tongue-in-cheek satire.
Now will not be one of those times.
I'm sorry folks; I'll do the whole "laughy-jokey" thing some other time. I have to speak on this.
In the past several months, I've watched a number of close friends of mine endure some rough times on the relationship front. Their significant others have been verbally and physically abusive to them and they've often contacted me at odd times to get my take on what they should do or just to lay what on their hearts out to an ear that will hear and not judge them.
I do my best to remain impartial when I listen to my friends because there's always more than one side to every story...
...but abuse in ANY form and under ANY circumstance is INEXCUSEABLE.
Oh yeah; the thing I forgot to tell you all about my friends is that all of them are dudes being abused by their wives.
Yup-you read it correctly the first time.
And I don't care if the woman is smaller and supposedly weaker than the man or that the dude should "man up" and other horsehit along those lines. You can miss me with all of that crap.
The fact is that when you enter into a relationship with someone, you allow them access to the closest and most sacred parts of you. As such,there is(or should be)a level of expectation for a signficant other to not violate that trust. Abuse of any kind spits on that trust and discards that trust as unimportant in the grand scheme of the abuser's need for "control."
There are those who've told me that these men need to do "all they can" to reconcile with these women because they're married and that's God's sacred union.
While I agree that marriage is (or should be) sacred,I refuse to believe that my Father would have me endure a relationship with a person who would mean me harm. I believe He loves me more than that.
One last question though: would anybody be telling an abused woman to stay with a male abuser for the sake of the marriage?
Yeah...I didn't think so either.
Moving Day - Going forward, all new VSB content will be at verysmartbrothas.theroot.com.
1 month ago